Be still and know that I am God.
It is dark outside, the kids and Joe are in bed. The house is quiet and I am all alone. I feel so at peace. It is so nice to rest. No responsibilities. No demands. No cries. No noise. Just me. All alone with myself. I can think, I can talk to God. I am not all alone!
It is wonderful! I love my kids but sometimes it is so refreshing to have my own time. My own space. I can do with it whatever I like, whatever I choose. Sometimes it's hard to choose.
I sacrifice my sleep for a chance to enjoy being by myself. Which is more restful, sleep or enjoying the quiet? Tonight it is listening to the hum of the air conditioner. No running feet, no request for sippy cup refills, no fights over toys, no one yelling that they just pooped and need wiped, no diapers to change, and no crying hungry baby. No Word World, Blue's Clue's, Curious George, or Sesame Street theme songs. No guilt for not doing laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, doing the dishes, vacuuming the floors, preparing supper, paying bills, playing with the kids, picking up toys, working out, going to the grocery, bathing the kids, on and on.
Just me. Being still.
I wouldn't change my life for anything, it is perfect. I love my responsibilities. Times like now are the ones that make my feel like Miranda though, not Mommy. (Or Ma, as Joseph has started calling me!! It makes me feel like an old hag.)
What does it take to have these moments? 12:17AM