Monday, April 13, 2009

I love you, but I hate you more

I Corinthians 6:19-20
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Here is what remains of Bethany and Joseph's Easter candy. It must weigh 10 lbs. They have ingested about the same amount of candy already over the past 2 days. It's been quite the sugar fest. Sugar highs and sugar lows, we are riding out the storms!

I am having a tug a war with it myself. I hate this candy, because come 2 o'clock today, tomorrow and however long these buckets manage to have something in them, it's gonna be calling my name. The Snickers, Reese's, Kit Kat, Skittles, Hershey's chocolate, sugar and high fructose corn syrup. It all knows my name and beckons me at any given hour, but especially in the afternoon.

So here I go world, you are my accountability... Readers and non-readers, commenter's and silent, anonymous folks. I am not going to eat one piece of this junk. Nope, not one. Not if I go 12 hours without any, or 2 days... no, because one piece always means more. It means, "Okay, so 2 then." and that is followed by, "Just one more."

I love food, hate dieting and detest working out. Over the past month, I've been working really hard to make some changes, big ones, like counting carbs and working out. I've made some huge accomplishments and had some terrible set backs. I am proud to say, the good outweighed, no pun intended, the bad more then not and the scale is starting to slightly grin at me. You'd think seeing these positive results would give me motivation to keep working, and working harder. It's not that way though, and over the past couple weeks I've become really sloppy with my discipline.

Being a person who has started and stopped watching what I eat and exercising more times than I can count, I was very leery to talk about starting again. This is why, I am just now putting this out here. I've made enough change to acknowledge it, yet I am in this place where I need a good solid kick in the right direction. If I made it sound like this post has anything to do with anyone besides me, well, it doesn't. As a silent or active reader, nothing is asked of you.

It's all mental, my metal, love-hate relationship with food.

To be continued...


Angela said...

WOW you sound like me! As you know I too struggle with eating only what I truly need. a bad of Cadbury eggs for Easter yesterday...had half the bag eaten by last night! NO JOKE! For me, it truly is an addiction and I have to ask for forgiveness when I give into it, which is TOO often! You're not alone...

Sweats, Nikes, and No Make-up said...

You could have the kids pick out like 3 of their favorite candies and throw the rest away or give it away. OR you could do a crafty project with it using glues, glitters, etc. - that way you won't be ABLE to eat the candy! Just some ideas...Hang in there - you're doing so great with the diet/exercise thing! Keep up the good work. Don't let that sugar tempt you! :)

Melinda said...

This year we didn't do Easter baskets. My older kids are too old for them and it's a habit I really don't want to start with my little ones. I feel your pain though. I struggle with food cravings all the time. Hang in there and pray for strength!

Miranda said...

We don't do Easter baskets either. They always get enough candy from their grandparents that there isn't any point. I haven't eaten any!!