Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Will I ever find out what I have?

I miss my kids.
I miss Jenna.
I miss her crazy bangs in her bright blue eyes. I miss hearing her holler at me, "Mommy, Mommmy, Mommmmy!" Each time getting louder and louder until I look her in the face, then she jabbers complete nonsense, as if I know every word she is saying.I miss Joseph.
I miss his giggles and hearing his pretend play and listening to him tell his long stories. I miss trying to get him to be still for a picture and trying to get him to not just give me a big cheesy grin, but a real one.I miss Bethany.
I miss her constant need to know everything, what's going on and who said what. I miss her helpfulness, her sweet care for Jenna. I miss her funny little ways.I miss their playfulness, the messes they get into, the noise they make. I miss each of their hugs and each of their scents.
I miss all three of my amazing kids.I felt so bad this morning, that I made an appointment to go see if I could find out for sure what is going on with me. I woke up this morning with the biggest and most painful sore on my tongue, and a very sore throat.
I see a Nurse Practitioner, and she didn't rule out Flu A. I was tested for Strep in the office but that came back negative, it has a 50/50 accuracy rate. She drew blood to check for Flu A, Flu B, Mono and Strep. She is also checking my thyroid levels again.
A blood test isn't even a 100% accurate for testing Flu A. I find this really frustrating. If the "medical professionals" can't come up with an accurate test, how can "they" come out with a vaccination? She was highly irritated that I was prescribed Tamiflu, when we don't even know if I have Flu A. She feels that it should be saved for severe cases of the flu, for the sake of saving the availability and the fear of people building up a tolerance to it.
I have said before that I am in support of most vaccinations, however I do not feel comfortable taking, or having my family take, the H1n1 flu vaccinations anytime soon, if and when it comes out. I personally feel it is too new and risky. You may have a different opinion and I'd love to hear about it. For me I feel completely put out by health professionals saying "do this, or do that" when they don't even have the knowledge or answers to treat or diagnose me. Does any one else other than me find this weird?!
I should get most of the results to my test back tomorrow so we can rule out or narrow down what's going on. I started a low grade fever again today, still feel achy, have a headache, am nauseous, can't eat because of this huge mouth sore, and have a sore throat. My mom is kindly keeping my kids another day. :) I'm so thankful for her and don't know what I'd do without her. {You are a life saver!} We are all taking Emergen-C . {click the link for a free sample.} I wish I'd been taking it before now.
I just keeping saying, "This is ridiculous, to be this miserable!" Sounds like a Dr. Seuss book to me. Here is a video clip worth watching about the vaccine, watch it and share your opinions.


Mom and Dad said...

Thanks for the Emergenc-C We are on it now. Bethy was not too excited about it... but she was a good girl and drank it up. They are all asleep now. You have wonderful kids and we love having them. And they are excited to be at Mamma and Papaw's house... Which of course we LOVE! They will be so excited to come home though when you are feeling better. They pray for you at each meal and before bed. DaDa too. That God would keep our family safe. They are precious prayers!
We are praying for you too Miranda and want you to know how much we love you. Take care of yourself and don't rush to get the kids home. I know you miss them but please rest and get well.

Kristen & Cliff said...

I am sorry that you are feeling so rough. I am thankful that your hubby is off to help but wish you all were just able to enjoy this time. We are praying for you

Wendy said...

I'm so sorry that you're sick! Will be praying for a full and speedy recovery!

mummyof5monsters said...

*hugs* for you. I feel so bad for you, I hope you feel better and can hug your babies very soon xxxx

Sweats, Nikes, and No Make-up said...

Found this today: http://bit.ly/blkc0
Thought you might want to check it out.

Sweats, Nikes, and No Make-up said...

Here's a FAQ sheet from the Center From Disease Control as well:

Of course, you can't always trust everything you read/hear from the government, but I figured you'd like to read up on it nonetheless.

Hope you start feeling better soon! I hate that you're still sick - my heart goes out to you.

Love, M