Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Let every heart prepare Him room

Acts 17:25-28
And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'

Sometimes, {or is it always?} we have to go through trials, face adversity, experience heartache, or endure scary things to see our need for God. To seek Him and find Him in the midst of wherever it is that we are. These times cause us to search and to cling, to have faith in things unseen.
I am realizing that I serve a God who is not far off. He is close and eagerly waiting for me to do one thing, ask for His help. Whether it be need for His strength, wisdom, patience or guidance, all He wants is for me to need Him. He is personal and all I have to do to be with Him is come, just as me. I don't have to be theologically sound, be able to debate, read and pray every single day or have my life all together. It doesn't matter if it's been weeks or months since I had a quiet time, all He cares about is this moment.
He knows me. How many times did the disciples have doubts going through their minds and He called them out? He knows what's on my mind and what's in my heart. He is waiting, desperately, longing to hear me ask for His help. To admit my need for Him.
These last couple weeks have been about puting my life back to order piece by piece. Mixing and adding the daily stuff back into my routine little by little. The thing is, I don't want to go back to living life like I did before. I don't want to be exactly that same mommy, or wife, or me. Sure, I long to be able to go to the grocery with three kids again, keep up with homeschooling, laundry, cooking and cleaning, but in the midst of that I want to cling to what I'm learning about God.
That He is here, that His plan is perfect and that I can trust Him. I want my daily routine to be flexible for Him. Yesterday I set out on my mental to-do list, only to be interrupted over and over. By a fussy toddler, by an email from a friend, and by a bad attitude from my child that needed to be dealt with.
God reminded me that my plans are nothing, these interruption are more important and that I should not worry about my own goals for the day. I don't, and can't, live life on my own, nor does He expect me to. It's funny how I want God to use me and then when I have opportunities to comfort my children or correct and guide them in love, I completely miss the mark. It's not about the big and grand, life changing moments, it's about the little, everyday ordinary moments. Will I embrace them or will I resist them, because I don't have the time?
I am beginning to see how much this life isn't about me. I want to yield to Christ and allow Him to teach me and grow me. When hard times come I want His purpose to be produced. I don't just want to endure, I want to be changed. As we grow, we produce good fruit. Not that we maybe didn't produce His fruit before, but we become capable of bearing greater quantities of His fruit.
In the hardest days of feeling so bad, all I could do was take one day at a time. That is how I want to continue to live my life, and that is how God wants me to live my life. I am not an expert at this, I am learning. Slowly but surely, right!?


{Kimber} said...

thank goodness He is patient with us!
{love the pic}

Stacey said...

Thanks so much for sharing what God put on your heart. I needed that today. Those could be my words also..thanks.
Love your pictures!