Friday, February 19, 2010

Renewing my hope

I know, right?!
You're shocked to see that I've blogged!
Well, truth be told I haven't been feeling the greatest. I hate to even mention it, I'm get tired of talking about how tired I {still} am, and how messed up my body {still} is. As much as I try to ignore the fact and confidently reply, "I'm doing much better." to those who kindly ask how I'm feeling, eventually I have to admit that I feel like crud. {Thick, heavy, gooey, crud.}
I continually try to stay focused on how far I have come. I have improved. I'm not laying in my bed all day, every day anymore. God has done so much for me, He has worked in my life and He is healing me. Some days I feel like He has healed me more than others.
It's difficult, I push myself all the time. To go places, to schedule anything, to clean the house, to home school, to make dinner and be a mommy. This week has been harder than the past few, and I am weak. Weak or not, I have to go on fulfilling my responsibilities as a wife and mother.
I opened my Bible today, silently begging God to give me something. One thing that He has taught me through this long season of health problems is that only He can meet my needs, only He can revive my soul. I long for His Word to minister to my weariness, I love that though no one else gets the degree my tiredness, He does. I love that though others {understandably} grow frustrated with my exhaustion, He accepts me just as I am.
So, this morning I desperately needed something, some understanding, some encouragement, some little sign that He will help me through this day. He is faithful, He is all that I need, all the time. Here is what He gave me. . .
Psalm 43:5
Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
Hope in God and ask Him to meet your needs, He loves to be needed. He made us to need Him.

Psalm 47:2
How awesome is the Lord Most High, the great King over all the earth!


{Kimber} said...

I am sorry to hear that you aren't feeling well {still}
but glad to know that your heart is in the right place :)

MaryBeth said...

Miranda, I am with you, I am tired of hearing about myself so I tell everybody I am doing better but I'm not. I can't believe how bad I always feel. Tired, exhausted, bored but I just don't have it in me to change. If I try I get even MORE tired.
Last week though a friend died and as bad as I feel, I looked at her casket going by and though get busy living. So this week I am hoping to overhaul my diet and slowly get moving (this weather isn't helping).
Hope you feel better soon, you are in my thought and prayers. MB

Kristen said...

I am so sorry you aren't feeling well :( But thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. <3

Anonymous said...

I am with u also. With this pregnancy (due to my age or simply because it is what it is) I have been ill through most of it. I could start naming, and naming, but something in the back of my mind says that no one really wants to hear, or that everyone is really tired of hearing it. So, I'm airing it here amoung people in like positions. I'm tired, I'm sick, I'm depressed. There it is. I must add however, that I am ever so thankful that the Lord saw fit to give me windows of relief between the sicknesses/problems. Had I not had those, I would have gone crazy as I am very sure He knows all about. I am so sorry to hear that u yourself are enduring health issues, but I am thankful that u took the time to just be transparent and share your feelings. Thanks again.


Booklover1212 said...

Isn't it amazing how God's words speak to us just when we need it the most?

I'm so sorry you're still feeling - to use your words - cruddy.

Saying a prayer for you, my friend!

~ Jennifer

...they call me mommy... said...

Amen!! Hope in God!

Kari @ p.s. said...

Giving you a hug from Colorado! Your bloggy friends like reading your posts - so keep them coming! Your pictures are always great to look at too!