Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Note to self

It's one year ago this month, that I had thyroid surgery.  What an incredibly long, eventful year it's been for me and Joe.  After nearly 3 and a half years of dealing with Hyperthyroidism, I went into thyroid surgery weary and tired.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think that was only the beginning, I hadn't seen nothing yet. Thyroid surgery was the start to some even greater rough months and trying times. Times of feeling hopeless and alone.  Times of seeking answers and weathering the hardest storms of my life thus far.  Hypothyroidism and Mono were coming my way and the two of them together would knock me out!
I love the fact that every time I realize my need for God, He is always there waiting for me.  He never disappoints, though He may not answer my questions right when I want them answered, He holds them.  As I look back over the past year, being in need of a new vehicle, selling our house at the most possible worst time, struggling with medical bills, spending 8 weeks in bed unable to take care of anything or anyone other than myself, {just to name a few major happenings!} all amidst the stresses my health issues put on our marriage and family, it's amazing.  It's amazing to physically be where I am today, pregnant with our fourth baby.  More than that even, I'm in wonder of God's grace and His incredible strength and provision for me. 
I recently heard Mark Hamby speak and he explained the Greek word for compassions that is used in Lamentations 3:22-23,  {Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.} is also the same word that is used to describe a mothers womb.  Meaning His compassions are safe, He is life sustaining, He is all that we need to live. Without His compassions, we would die.  I was blown away by this concept and I definitely could see this being true in my own relationship with God.
This past year is one I would never have picked, could never have imagined but it's been truly a blessing for me and my family.  It's grown my faith, it's proved to me that God is more real than I ever gave Him credit for, my life has changed from more dependence on me, to more dependence on Him.  He is more than we could ever ask or think, all He wants is for us get to the place of surrender, to see our need for Him and live life in complete worship of Him.  I'm not There yet, but I'm closer that I would've been if it wasn't for the trials.  I'm thankful He took my life and turned it upside down.
I was recently reading in Deuteronomy, where after the Lord gave the Israelites the 10 Commandments he repeatedly says to them, "Don't forget me!  Don't forget all that I have done for you!"  In Chapter 8 verse 2 and 3 he says, "Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord."  In verse 11 he says, "Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God," and in verse 15a, "He led you through the vast and dreadful desert, that thirsty and waterless land,"  I don't want to forget my days in bed, just me and Mono.  I don't want to forget how helpless and hopeless I felt trying to tend to 3 small children wondering if I was ever going be better.  I don't want to forget that my God is faithful, He is for me, He is all that I need, He can be trusted when everything else is shaken,  His love for me is immeasurable, His is good and He never fails.
Whether you are in the middle of a desert time in your life, or have recently been through such a time, I encourage you to hold fast to all that God is wanting to teach you.  Do not forget how great is our God!

5 comments:

leah leah said...

Thank you for your faithful example <3 You inspire me and I truly am grateful for your blog!

~Mom~ said...

AMEN! He is so FAITHFUL

Catherine Anne said...

God is SO good~

MaryBeth said...

I cannot believe the year you have had, it is making me tired just reading it. I am still dealing with my thyroid problems after 15 months and see no end in sight. I don't think I want to take the steps of surgery to remove it, like you I think I will still have too many problems. Hope this year gets easier. xo, MB

Doll Clothes Gal Pal said...

Truly inspiring!