Life sure is busy with four kids, where is the time to blog? We started back to school last week, which was much needed for Bethany. She loves learning and really gets bored when we don't have it. She can tell time now, so I'll be going to Target to buy her a Hello Kitty alarm clock this week. I promised her I'd buy a clock for her nightstand once she learned to tell time really well.
The first half of last week, I was feeling great about my success at mothering 4 alone, I was keeping up with cooking and cleaning and laundry...but by Thursday my patience was lost and I couldn't find it. Life was falling in on me, the bills all showed up in the mail that day, my kids were wearing me out with their demands, I was cleaning up breakfast and Joseph was asking me what was for lunch, Bethany gave mostly wrong answers on her school work, Jenna was continually fighting with somebody, you get the point. All I had to show for my day by 2:00 was a very grouchy me.
A little voice reminded me that I'd been going about my life on my own, in my own strength. I will never find myself to be enough on my own. For a little while I can manage, I can keep it together, but soon it will all crumble. That is exactly what happened, I crumbled. It took me a little while to admit it, but I knew what my problem really was when I lashed out my kids and fell apart on the phone with Joe. I was angry at myself for not being enough, for not having it all together. All I needed was to ask for His help, to depend on Him to get me through because He is always enough.
He is enough when kids are ungrateful,
when the bills will go unpaid,
when dishes fill the sink,
when the toys are everywhere,
when supper is burned because the baby had a blow out,
when the kids dresser drawers won't shut because they're too full of out of season clothes and the dresser is falling apart,
when my kids don't listen,
when they hit each other,
when the longest stretch of sleep I've gotten is 3 hours sleep in the past 64 hours,
when the van doesn't run right,
when I am not enough, He is always enough.
Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!
When His strength is what I walk in, all those other things don't matter, because He is in control and I am depending on Him to take care them, not me all by myself. It's hard to do all the time and I am repeatedly having to go back to Him to ask forgiveness because I made such a mess out of doing it my way and ask for His help again.
A friend on Facebook shared this and I thought about my week, "The longer I live, the more I realize that all of our responsibilities, all that God has called us to do, are beyond our own human ability. There is nothing I can do apart from God." - Cheri Fuller
Brady turned a month old last week. He is growing at a rapid rate, that I am trying to embrace. He weighed 10 lbs. 7 oz. and was 22 and a quarter inches long on Friday. He's almost over his cold and sleeps flat in his bed again. He is more alert everyday and slowly not making us work so hard to get a smile out of him. He doesn't give them away for free though, not yet. I think he has learned that if he cries I will come and he likes that. I am a little sad that he is growing so quickly but at the same time, it's fun to get to know him more and he gets cuter and cuter.
We had a light snow fall on Friday morning, so Joe had a snow day. The kids had fun playing in the snow at my parents and even went sledding.
I need to blog more often, I tried to cram so much unrelated stuff into one post and it's all making my head hurt! We are expecting more snow this week and hoping Joe will be home with us for a snow day tomorrow.
My food for thought this week came via my pastor's sermon yesterday. "We judge others so much harder than we judge ourselves. We judge others based on their actions, we judge ourselves based on our intentions."