Monday, January 10, 2011

First week of the year with 4 kids

Life sure is busy with four kids, where is the time to blog? We started back to school last week, which was much needed for Bethany. She loves learning and really gets bored when we don't have it. She can tell time now, so I'll be going to Target to buy her a Hello Kitty alarm clock this week. I promised her I'd buy a clock for her nightstand once she learned to tell time really well.
I've always loved to multi-task and gotten some kinda weird kick out seeing how many things I could do at once. My first corporate America job was working a switchboard at a front desk of a rehab hospital. The days were busy as I had visitors to greet and assist, computer data to enter, and a bank deposit to prepare, all while 20 lines lit up wildly. Now those days seem like a piece of cake and these days my multi-tasking skills just aren't enough! I don't have enough hands, I can't be upstairs and downstairs at once, I can't nurse a baby and take Jenna potty, I have to choose constantly what needs doing most, something always goes undone.
The first half of last week, I was feeling great about my success at mothering 4 alone, I was keeping up with cooking and cleaning and laundry...but by Thursday my patience was lost and I couldn't find it. Life was falling in on me, the bills all showed up in the mail that day, my kids were wearing me out with their demands, I was cleaning up breakfast and Joseph was asking me what was for lunch, Bethany gave mostly wrong answers on her school work, Jenna was continually fighting with somebody, you get the point. All I had to show for my day by 2:00 was a very grouchy me.
A little voice reminded me that I'd been going about my life on my own, in my own strength. I will never find myself to be enough on my own. For a little while I can manage, I can keep it together, but soon it will all crumble. That is exactly what happened, I crumbled. It took me a little while to admit it, but I knew what my problem really was when I lashed out my kids and fell apart on the phone with Joe. I was angry at myself for not being enough, for not having it all together. All I needed was to ask for His help, to depend on Him to get me through because He is always enough.
He is enough when kids are ungrateful,
when the bills will go unpaid,
when dishes fill the sink,
when the toys are everywhere,
when supper is burned because the baby had a blow out,
when the kids dresser drawers won't shut because they're too full of out of season clothes and the dresser is falling apart,
when my kids don't listen,
when they hit each other,
when the longest stretch of sleep I've gotten is 3 hours sleep in the past 64 hours,
when the van doesn't run right,
when I am not enough, He is always enough.
Psalm 105:4
Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!

When His strength is what I walk in, all those other things don't matter, because He is in control and I am depending on Him to take care them, not me all by myself. It's hard to do all the time and I am repeatedly having to go back to Him to ask forgiveness because I made such a mess out of doing it my way and ask for His help again.
A friend on Facebook shared this and I thought about my week, "The longer I live, the more I realize that all of our responsibilities, all that God has called us to do, are beyond our own human ability. There is nothing I can do apart from God." - Cheri Fuller

Brady turned a month old last week. He is growing at a rapid rate, that I am trying to embrace. He weighed 10 lbs. 7 oz. and was 22 and a quarter inches long on Friday. He's almost over his cold and sleeps flat in his bed again. He is more alert everyday and slowly not making us work so hard to get a smile out of him. He doesn't give them away for free though, not yet. I think he has learned that if he cries I will come and he likes that. I am a little sad that he is growing so quickly but at the same time, it's fun to get to know him more and he gets cuter and cuter.
We had a light snow fall on Friday morning, so Joe had a snow day. The kids had fun playing in the snow at my parents and even went sledding.
I need to blog more often, I tried to cram so much unrelated stuff into one post and it's all making my head hurt! We are expecting more snow this week and hoping Joe will be home with us for a snow day tomorrow.
My food for thought this week came via my pastor's sermon yesterday. "We judge others so much harder than we judge ourselves. We judge others based on their actions, we judge ourselves based on our intentions."


esther said...

Thank you Miranda for this wonderful reminder. I really needed to hear this today :)

Wanting What I Have said...

Friend, though I have just three, I can completely relate to your week. How precious of the Lord to remind you to walk in His strength. He has to remind me of that constantly. Your transparency is a blessing to me. Thank you!

Jenn said...

You have such a beautiful family!! God is so, so good to us. I see you use Abeka also. That is what I use with my children.

Thank you for sharing your heart. As a mother of four so close together, I also have days when I just want to collapse. It gets hard. I go crazy when my 7yo doesn't get her speed drills done in a minute. It takes her a minute 10 seconds. Then I stop and remember: they are mine. I am raising them. I have a noisy house right now. It isn't quiet in the room like at a school. What do I expect?? I am reminded of how patient God is with me. I may not do things exactly like I should, but God sure does have a lot of mercy.

From your blog I can tell you are a great mom and have been so incredibly blessed with your family. Praise the Lord!!!

Our Crazy Crew said...

I was just discussing our constant need for a "reset button". In the middle of a day, when I find a bad attitude, short on patience, irritable or just a little off. It's always a good chance to hit a "reset button" by spending time alone with the Lord, and let him reset that moment, circumstance, attitude and heart. The kids know just what I mean when momma or they need a reset button. It means we can't do it in our own strength, but need Him every minute of every day! Love your words today! We all need to hit the "reset button"!

Lyndsay Taylor said...

Love it, Miranda! Love the pictures, and your new home is LOVELY!! I am excited because it has finally sunk in to me, too, that God is but waiting for me to ASK!!! I need His strength, and if it doesn't come in the way I wanted, then whatever the result is really is okay, because we depend on Him for every good attitude, motivation, joy, breath.
You're amazing, in Him!!

Bernadette said...

Miranda- Thank you so much for being so honest! I had a falling apart today over a trip to Wal-mart and I only have the three munchkins... I was re-living it for Avery earlier and it sounded a lot like your list of when He is enough above. Thanks for the adjustment for me and my sight!

jenni said...

wow! there is a true community here Miranda & i am the better for it.. i was thinking the other day i am letting these moments slip away, but Miranda .. i want to commend you for your documentation. i can imagine how your children will pour over your pages one day ~ have you seen where blogger has a program that will print your blog (& pics) into a book?! you can even decide the time span..

love you!!

Mrs.Mayhem said...

Juggling four children is very difficult. It appears that you are doing a wonderful job mothering them! They look so happy in each of these photos.

My kids are now 5, 8, 11, and 13. But in the beginning, right after the fourth was born, I struggled and felt as though I were failing each of them. It's easy to feel overwhelmed when there are four of them and only one of you.

Christina said...

A beautiful post, and one I needed to read this week.