Wednesday, April 13, 2011

The moments that matter

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 

I was out of bed 2 hours earlier than usual.  Bethany couldn't believe it, her mouth dropped open when she saw me drying my hair as the sun was coming up.  I only do this kinda early when it's mandated, never out by choice, and always begrudgingly.  {Three words, ask. my. husband.}  I've recently been overwhelmed by lack of hours in my day to accomplish necessities.  I needed to get a shower and get a jump start on this day.  Instead, I got a shower and sat on the couch eating jelly toast, watching Looney Tunes with my kids.
Some things are more important, the laundry can wait a little longer, the book can be read later, the dust can keep settling on the piano, the piano can go unplayed another day, the beds can stay unmade, the emails can remain unanswered until later, I tell myself things like this every. single. day.  A few more minutes, a little longer holding my baby, just because I want to.  Tomorrow he'll be bigger, they all will be older.
I never get to blog as often as I'd like, time is not on my side.  My to-do list is ever growing longer, longer, longer and I wonder to myself, "Where is the time to blog, to clean closets, to sit and read a book for myself, to paint my dining room, to...?"  Everyday I think I'll get caught up with housework and schoolwork so that I can have more time tomorrow.  I'm still searching for my extra time I've been saving up.
It's okay.
I'm beginning to understand what the Bible means when it says to "pray continuously".  I need wisdom for each new day, how to deal with what each day holds and how to focus on what God wants me to accomplish.  To go with the flow that He orchestrates.  It's easier to shrug off my children's attitudes, than deal with their hearts.  I make empty threats, rather than follow through with their need for loving discipline.  I make empty promises to spend time with them, and all I'm really doing so putting them off with no intent to make good on my word.
I overlook opportunities to hug them up,
look into their eyes
and listen.
"Tomorrow.", I think.
I get caught in the mundane, the givens of my day that cycle on repeat 7 days a week.  Do it and do it again, the things that must be done, but have no lasting effect, load the dishwasher, unload the dishwasher, wipe the table, set the table, cook a meal, clean up the leftovers off the floor and fingers and faces, up the steps and down the steps, feed the baby, burp the baby, change the baby, pick up the house...need I go on?  I'm not always happy about it, I lose focus as quickly as my kids picking up Legos.
It's the tilling my heart, the uprooting of lies and selfishness. This life is precious, yet to really take it in requires intentional focus on God, yielding.  It requires rejoicing in his abundance and his ways of growing us, often painfully, but always faithfully.  It requires praying for wisdom and giving thanks for what each moment holds.  This day is not mundane, it is precious.  This day it may not go as I planned, but it is planned.  Planned by someone far greater, who sees beyond the crumbs on the floor, the dishes in the sink, the blog with nice pictures.  He sees our hearts.  The hearts that need changed, that need tended to, that need the weeds extracted over and over.
May I take the time today to see hearts.  Mine first.  The clock doesn't matter, the moments do.


OneMommy said...

You are so right. There is never enough time. But, you are also right, hold that baby. Enjoy those kids. They will grow up too fast, and you can have a spotless house then. I have to remind myself that sometimes, especially when it comes to playing fairies or princesses with my daughter. 20 minutes to her is priceless; it should be to me too.
Oh, and I love the pics you put with this!

Eleana said...

Beautiful! Thanks for reminding us of the important things.