Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Running in circles

My new best friend, Pack 'n Play.
I brought it downstairs for a safe place to lay Anne without worrying that Brady would trample her or try to pick her up.  I quickly realized that she wasn't so safe inside either, because he could throw stuff in there, on top of her. Instead, it works great for keeping Brady in, he surprisingly hasn't minded it too much and will play for a reasonable amount of time, such a blessing!!
The title of my last post was Good Days, let me tell you I've had some bad days since then. Just normal life getting me down, whether you're a mom of 5 or not a mom at all, we all have those days. I couldn't keep my head above water and felt like I had a giant rock tied to me feet. Things have been crazy busy and life has sped up to 100 MPH!  I'm still standing, but barely, I definitely had a couple of bumpy days.  Joe has been working hard landscaping, in the process he hurt his foot really badly last week.  He was in pain and unable to help me with everything.  There haven't been enough hours in my days but then there have been too many hours in the days all at the same time. Several nights I only pieced 3 hours of sleep together, between extra work to prepare for company, intense pain in my neck/back, a nursing baby, staying up late with company, and getting up early to yard sale. Those kinda of insane late bedtimes and early mornings are hard to make up when you are already sleep deprived and see no end in sight. I'll just tell you it all ended with me in an incoherent rant of tears and blaming, and then apologies to everyone in my household.
This morning I went to re-heat my coffee in the microwave because I didn't get to it before the coffee pot shut off and the coffee went cold.  When I opened the microwave, there was my yesterday coffee, very cold. No wonder I was dragging all day!
I've been going non-stop, starting one chore or mommy call after another and most of the time I never get one task finished before I start another.  Yesterday I accomplished 3 small task in addition to changing diapers, nursing my baby, fixing breakfast and lunch, emptying the dishwasher, getting a shower and picking up the house and it felt like a big deal. {Supper never happened, the kids ate cereal.}
This is a familiar phase, the early months of mothering a newborn are always demanding and a time of adjusting to a new life. I've told myself often lately that it will be okay, I will be okay, we will be okay, I can do this, I have done this.  Not with 5, but since I know God has called me here, I know I can do this.
Some one I don't see often asked me the other day how I do it with 5.  I told them, prayer! They laughed and then, with pity, said, "So, how are you really?" I admitted that life is crazy busy and it's alot of work keeping up with it, but then I said, "I'm really happy." Happy doesn't mean it comes easy, or that it's not a struggle, or that I have it all together. Happy just means that I know that I am living the life God has for me.  Happy means that I feel pretty special that God decided to put these 6 people in my life to spend their life with me, and I get to take care of them. I really wouldn't want to be living any other way, because it wouldn't be my life, the one God planned out for me. I'm not doing some one else's grand life for God. There are many inspiring people who's lives I admire, but this is where God has me and it is good.
I've wanted to be blogging, but there just hasn't been time for it.  Just like there hasn't been time for a 5 minute trip to the post office to get stamps so I can mail thank you cards that have been written for weeks. Everyday I tell myself I'll get there tomorrow...
We did make time to take Bethany to get her hair cut.  {Although, we told her for two weeks, "We'll go one day this week."} She wanted to donate it to Locks of Love.  Joe and I took her to a nice salon and they washed, cut and styled her new haircut, a very big treat for her.  She deserved it.
I started getting nervous, 10 inches off was going to be really short! But when I thought about what she was cutting it for, I couldn't be nervous any longer.
 Joe and I are so proud of her!  We love her new haircut. She kept saying, "I just don't even feel like myself!"
Afterwards we took her shopping for a new headband, her favorite accessory. She really wanted a heart locket and was thrilled when we found one. It was just the perfect time with her, she was so happy to have Joe and I to herself and we were equally as happy to have her to ourselves. She is getting so big and fun to hang out with, sometimes I don't even realize how much she is changing until we make time to focus on her.
Have I mentioned lately how great it is to have a 7 year old? She is awesome, I love her at this age. We are blessed by her independent mind and her helpful heart. She is responsible and so smart.  She ask great questions and is truthful.  She is beautiful inside and out.
 Tonight she was playing with Brady outside and they were having so much fun.  They were cute together, I love the way she takes care of him and the way he looks up to her.
 She wanted him to slide underneath her, and he agreed that it was a great idea.
 Joseph lost his second tooth tonight, he pulled it himself! We had ice cream to celebrate.
Anne has grown more in the last week than the other 5 combined. She'll be 6 weeks tomorrow and is doing so good.  I weighed her today and she is 10 and a half lbs. We are still working on sleep issues and she still likes to be held all the time, but she is a baby and this is what baby's do, right?
She is so close to smiling, she starts to smile and then stops.  The race is on to see who will get the first real smile.
Don't know if anyone remembers this or not, but we have been running I Love Lucy in the ground around here, and there is one episode the kids watched recently where Lucy has a dream she is going to be fed to a double headed dragon, Fred and Ethel.  Bethany and Jenna were playing a two headed dragon today.
Anne has been in bed for an hour, now would probably be a good time for me to get some sleep.  Nighty, night!


Wanting What I Have said...

Hang in there. You are doing a great job and this too, shall pass. (Not that I speak from having five) - but in each season of new babies - it's insanity and I always felt that I'd never "get our life back," and then one day, slowly, and without me even realizing it, we fell into a pattern and there was a new normal and it was so sweet and good, and then it's hard to remember the old normal. One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. One day at a time. You will get there. His grace is sufficient and He will provide a way. I wish I could come over and tackle laundry and dishes for a day and make you a meal. :) xoxo

Nate and Erin said...

I'm pretty sure people will have grace and understanding if they don't get a thank-you least that is what I tell myself because I never finished getting them out after SG. I really tried, and got some out, but eventually just gave up (with Nate's encouragment to let it go). That was hard for me since I was taught to always send thank-you cards, but I knew it was exhausting me and frusterating me because I felt like I couldn't even get through one card in one sitting, let alone 20! (or however many I had) So I consider it impressive that you even got them written, with 5 kiddos!!!!! =)

Lyndsay Taylor said...

You are awesome. I'm proud of you and your honesty and grateful spirit! It is so good to know its FINE to say the truth, and it's a blessing to others to also say how you are CHOOSING to see and live dependent on God's help! You've chosen a special and beautiful life--It's fun to read your blog and see your pics.
Love you!!!