Thursday, November 1, 2012


 So excited it's November 1st! Joseph's birthday is only 6 days away, he's been counting down ever since Bethany's birthday, almost 2 months ago. We get to vote this month, I loved it when Bethany asked me this morning, "Mommy, how many more days until WE get to go vote?"
The air is officially cold and crisp here and though I dread having to turn the heat up for good, I just love this time of year. Our house is staying pretty cold since we're trying to leave the heat off or really, really low as long as possible. Today we stood in the sunlight shining through the windows on the back of the house and it was so warm.
 Bethany and Joseph spent hours, and I do many hours raking and raking the leaves from one of our two trees. They found so much enjoyment in raking up a pile and even stole some of the neighbors leaves to make it bigger. I told them I'm sure the neighbor didn't mind.
 Jenna was happy to jump in the pile, it was really warm that day!
I've been doing alot of Christmas shopping thinking. And I've been doing alot of Christmas knitting thinking, we'll see how much of that I actually get to accomplish! There is a stack of boxes in our closet with my start to Christmas shopping for the kids.
I've been doing alot of thinking period. lately. A dear friend lent me the book, "Loving The Little Years" by Rachel Jankovic. It has been such a great source of encouragement. I've been reminded of things I want to be better about doing, like the way I speak and having patience in the midst of daily chaos, I've also been inspired with new ideas on how to be a better mom. This quote from the book is my favorite, I just read it and stared at it as it ate away at my conscience, "Fat souls are better than clean floors."  I couldn't read another word, just shut it after rereading it a couple more times.
I don't really obsess about my floors, or my house being clean. I have learned to had to let go of that a long time ago. I love a clean house, I really enjoy it, but it's unrealistic for me to even try to stay ontop of all the housework right now. It's impossible, I could go all day and still I just couldn't keep the house clean, because there are not 5 of me to follow 5 little people around all day.

I maintain the house and all it entails to keep this household afloat. Occasionally, like today, I somehow have a day where the clock seems to tick slower and I have energy to plow away at housework. It's wonderful to feel like I've accomplished more than picking up the house or holding back the flood gates. I love that awesome feeling of knowing all the dirt that no longer exist in tiny spaces or papers that will never sit around again, but I also know it doesn't last long enough to talk about. Trust me, the kids are already in from playing outside, clean house is gone! All that to say, I don't really spend hours a day keeping a spit spot house, I spend hours a day running in circles with very little cleanliness to show for it. Even today, on one of my rare "productive" days most people would look around and say, "Really? What did you do all day?"
 I do however, struggle to be fully present and attentive to my kids. I struggle to put them first and continually die to my flesh. Die to my flesh when they need me to make eye contact but I'd rather finish looking up that knitting project. Die to my flesh when they need corrected or defended when I'd really like to just cook dinner in peace. Die to my flesh when there are two babies with poopy diapers and I had just sat down to drink my coffee.There is alot going on in this house every day, and there is alot going on in their hearts every day and every day I need to be reminded that shepherding their hearts is more important than replying to emails or finishing a task. I need to be reminded that my attitude, my response to their interruptions is what they are learning and either I am feeding their souls, working for what is eternal, or working at things that will never bear any fruit in their life. So, yeah, that one sentence is still setting with me and I am so thankful for it to have pierced this very distracted, busy, hurried heart of mine.
So, my November is off to a great start, hope yours is too!


Anonymous said...

Glad to know I'm not alone. Each child reminds me how selfish I can be through tout the day. Four kids is a HUGE change for me. It's like trying to juggle on a tightrope while riding a unicycle. It takes a lot of practice and I fail often. My kids r learning I am far from perfect and I am humbled each time I get on my knees nd ask their forgiveness. Thank goodness Gods mercy and grace is unending. If not I'd of ran out a long time ago. I love my littles and it's worth dying to self everyday to build on their tomorrow's. However it doesn't make it any easier. Melissa Morris

Mudpiesandtiaras said...

I am in the same boat as we prepare for baby 4. never time to get it all done but plenty of time to be there for the kids. So thankful!

Bonnie said...

It is a constant struggle but strengthens my character and humbles me all at the same time!!

LOVE LOVE LOVE that quote and now I must go add her book to my Goodreads list!