Monday, December 10, 2012

to be brief...

 I really shouldn't be blogging, but I need to, no matter how brief. I just spilled like 2,000 straight pins in the floor, one among so many other things I should be doing. Anyway, my littlest one, AnneGirl has been sick, really sick.
Thursday was Brady's big birthday and she woke up sick, croupy cough and raspy. I took her to an urgent care center on Friday evening and they kept us for 3 hours observing her and deciding whether I should take her to the ER. They did a chest x-ray and she didn't have pneumonia, they tested her for flu and RSV and they both were negative. They gave her a breathing treatment and some steroid medicine. She had a fever and it didn't seem to be going down at first. Eventually her breathing improved and her fever started weakening. They gave me strict instructions to keep a close eye on her and take her to the ER if she seemed to be worsening.
I have had kids with RSV and Croup before, but this sickness tops them all! Saturday night she couldn't get comfortable and was coughing none stop. She sounded awful and looked awful, I got so concerned I loaded her up and took her to the ER at 11:45, I have never gone to the ER before. There were people everywhere and talk of a 4 hour wait, but they said she was a baby so she might be seen sooner. I sat there for over 5 hours, talked to a sweet lady about quilting and knitting and shocked her with my little life about 5 kids. I also talked to a girl, who cradled her baby as her own head bled openly, from getting robbed in her home. Her boyfriend was stabbed and being treated at a different hospital. I watched as a battered woman came and sat in the farthest seat and wept loudly. I also watched another lady waiting to be seen herself go over and talk with her and offer her some comfort and options.
I walked and swayed and bounced and Anne just coughed and then would sleep a few moments. {My arms and neck still ache from holding her so much these past 4 days.} I tried not to look at the clock on my phone, I tried to smile and understand if there was some other reason for me being there.
Finally at 5:10AM a nurse took us back to a room and said she would be right back to ask some questions. Anne coughed, my back ached, she had been coughing and fussy for hours now and I was spent. The nurse didn't come for 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes, now I had a clock on the wall to watch. I couldn't take it, after 40 minutes of no nursing asking us questions, I loaded Anne into her carseat, went to find the nurse and explained to her that I just couldn't wait much longer. I said, "It's going to be more hours isn't it?" and she hesitantly said yes. We came home and slept for several hours, I planned to take her back to urgentcare in the afternoon when they opened.
In the meantime, I called my pediatricians office and the doctor on call called back and called her in a steroid and a decongestant. It was another long day and night, I didn't see that it helped her much.
This morning she woke up coughing and vomiting, I was at my wits, so tired and worried for her. I called the pediatrician's office for an appointment they said they would see her at 3. I was so worried I didn't want to wait that long, so I took her to urgentcare where I waited an hour and upon being seen and explaining things to the nurse she realized we had been there on Friday. "We can't see her again, if we have already treated her. " she told me. I explained all that I had been through to get there and how she wouldn't be seen until 3, then I started mumbling about what I tired mommy I am and how upset I was that I couldn't get her seen. I left so frustrated and so upset, so tired of being nice to people when they don't do anything for Anne. Throughout this whole ordeal I have been patient and polite and understanding and I was just so tired of being nice.
I came home and waited for her appointment with a PA at the pediatrician's office. They re-tested her for RSV and checked for strep, they were negative so they gave her albuterol syrup and said again it was just croup and nasty. It was frustrating in ways that more couldn't be done for her, but it was also a huge relief for me to know there wasn't something else going on that was being missed.
I had to leave her with my mom tonight because Bethany is having ear surgery in the morning to repair a hole in her eardrum. It was hard leaving her, I know that my Mom will take just as good care of her as I can, but I still hated leaving her while she is sick.
Bethany has to be at the hospital at 6:30 and we have an hour drive to get there. She is excited about getting the hole fixed because it causes her great pain when she gets water in it and she has a small amount of hearing loss in that ear. I am praying she will have peace up until surgery time and the pain afterward will be mild. At this point, I am more nervous than her, and I hope it stays that way.
It's alot right now having been worn out with Anne and her still being sick and now jumping into Bethany having surgery and potentially being in need of comforting and consoling. Praying I have the emotional, physical and mental well-being to keep going strong. Neither of my girls situations are really about me, I just want them well and feeling happy.
As always sickness makes me thankful, thankful for most often very healthy children and children who can get well with the help of medicine, time and rest. Thankful for my normal busy life, because this kind of chaos is really terrible. I haven't felt this physically tired and sleep deprived since one of my earlier children were born. The kind of tired where even if I could sleep I can't for worry about Anne or worry that I'll just wake up again in a few minutes, more tired and frustrated that I didn't get sleep, so I just try to not go to sleep.
Please pray for Bethany, I will try to get back soon and update her progress.


BARBIE said...

Oh wow! I will be lifting you and your precious babes up in my prayers tonight. Rest and strength to you!

B said...

So much on your plate! Praying for you, strength, energy :) and peace.

Sweats, Nikes, and No Make-up said...

Praying for you and the girls!

Anonymous said...

Praying for peace and rest for you all. Praying for Bethany's surgery to go well and for little Anne to soon feel better.