Can I just be honest? I feel incredibly too big to be only...how many weeks am I?... Google tells me almost 23! I feel like people ask me when I'm due and when I tell them, "August.", they say, "Oh." and are secretly aghast! It's my sixth pregnancy though, this is how my body looks when it's growing a baby and I keeping reminding myself how amazing and special it is to be pregnant for the sixth time, so so-long insecurities.
Who cares if I pulled out my stretchy maternity pants at 15 weeks, who cares if I look 33 weeks instead of 23 weeks pregnant, who cares?! I am striving to identify lies of the Devil that steal my joy and take my eyes off the gifts God gives me, the moments and simple joys that I am honored to experience. It's not easy to recognize the continual whispering of deceit, of doubt, of hate for myself but it's something that God has brought to my attention and I'm eager to stop joining forces with Satan who hates me. Time to remind him Who's I am and Who I believe!
Our 20 week ultrasound made me really nervous in a way I've never been nervous before an ultrasound. Everything looked healthy and we are so thankful! This life is another undeserving gift, humbling.
There was a small bit of doubt that this baby was in fact a girl but I had to have an ultrasound at my last doctor's appointment to find the heartbeat and she is in fact a girl!
Naming this little lady has been our toughest naming challenge yet, maybe because my brain has been complete mush lately. I am indecisive, forgetful and easily stressed out. I think we have settled on a first name, after we decide how to spell it we will be ready to tackle her middle name! This is a partial list of girl names we worked hours to compile, if you mention any girl name we probably read it or mentioned it at some point. I am falling in love with the name we've picked out and each day it makes her feel more real, cannot wait to meet her!